Sunday, May 2, 2010
the lack of Jay
So yeah... It's been a couple of years now. Jay Wells is no longer making any more "Jay Wells". There is nothing more to give or receive. No late night text messages. No crazy stories. No more sorting out the universe and all it's problems over a beer and a shot at breakfast. The one and only is no longer and is over. There is only the memory, the spirit, the lingering faintness of what was. There is nothing to be done...it is only what it was. It definitely completely sucks. I wish it different. Really what I want most, is to get it all back. All of it. Preferably in order. It's odd what will trigger a memory. What smell or room. What TV show, car, shoes, jokes, brand of beer, bit of music... all the things that make little file tags in our record keeping minds. I always connect Frank Sinatra with Jay. As most people do. Stewie from Family Guy or anything to do with a sheep are common with anybody that knew Jay. Brotherly love, the city of Philadelphia, mumbling cell phone conversations, inside jokes, Blue 1987 VW Rabbits, whenever the clock shows 11:11.... Weird random shit. It's these kinda little bell tones that keep Jay beeping around me all the time. At first, all these reminders were straight up bummers. All they seemed to do is punctuate the fact that Jay was gone... it sucked. But slowly you get over all that, with time... and in one of two directions. One... forget the reminders cause' they only bring ya grief.. ala' drink dem blues away...or Two just roll with it because after all that shit reminds you of Jay cause' ... well.....it was cool shit in the first place. And so this is how I've come to terms with the lack of Jay. These reminders keep him around as much as I can. It's the next best thing... it's at least mostly all the good stuff. I'm not at all a big supporter of all the ideas surrounding an afterlife. It's no religious thing, or a oneness with the universe or cosmic whatever the .... I just don't really care. I'll find out if or when dose or doesn't happen.... as will everyone I suppose. That being stated.. Wherever you are Jay Wells... I hope you're having a laugh and remember us all fondly.... you made my life a richer experience for having been be a part out it .....and still do. GOOD ON YA!!!